Last night I had a dream that felt so real to me that when I woke up I was sure it was happening to me. It was all related to my health - something that I've been worrying about (but trying hard not to as I wait). My doctors are giving me the run around. My family doctor says I need to see a specialist and referred me to one, but I can't make the appointment - they have to. They said they sent my file, but when I called the specialist, they don't have anything. And so I keep having to wait. I've called and called. I'm sure the specialist office thinks I'm a pest calling every day. But I have to. I have a timeline, if I want to go back to Budapest. Plus, this is the initial meeting. I'm sure there will be more tests and follow up appointments. I only have 6 weeks left now.
My dream last night was one where I had a major flare up with patches of rashes all over my body, aching bones and general discomfort. I was convinced when I woke up that it was actually happening and it was all over my body. But thankfully it wasn't and it was all a dream. But it was unsettling and until I know for sure either way, its going to continue to be unsettling.
I'm sick of waiting for confirmation. The signs are all there (mostly), and the blood work so far proves it. Of course there are other possibilities than what I think it is, but regardless, there is definitely something wrong. I just want to know so I can focus on getting better and figure out how to manage it. Most days I feel absolutely fine. Occasionally some soreness in my bones - mostly my wrists and sometimes in my elbow and arms. But it could just be me being paranoid. I try not to dwell on it too much, but some days when I'm hurting, I just can't help it. I just want to know and I'm so sick of waiting.
I've made my peace with it. I'm prepared for the worst already, but secretly hoping that its not as bad as I think it is. My mother gives me hope that it'll be okay. She is living proof of it.
My dream last night was one where I had a major flare up with patches of rashes all over my body, aching bones and general discomfort. I was convinced when I woke up that it was actually happening and it was all over my body. But thankfully it wasn't and it was all a dream. But it was unsettling and until I know for sure either way, its going to continue to be unsettling.
I'm sick of waiting for confirmation. The signs are all there (mostly), and the blood work so far proves it. Of course there are other possibilities than what I think it is, but regardless, there is definitely something wrong. I just want to know so I can focus on getting better and figure out how to manage it. Most days I feel absolutely fine. Occasionally some soreness in my bones - mostly my wrists and sometimes in my elbow and arms. But it could just be me being paranoid. I try not to dwell on it too much, but some days when I'm hurting, I just can't help it. I just want to know and I'm so sick of waiting.
I've made my peace with it. I'm prepared for the worst already, but secretly hoping that its not as bad as I think it is. My mother gives me hope that it'll be okay. She is living proof of it.
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